Children misbehave and act out for many reasons.\u00a0 If you take the time to figure out why your child is acting poorly instead of just reacting, it might go a long way to solving the problem.\u00a0 Some reasons why children misbehave are:<\/p>\n
\n- Boredom<\/li>\n
- Immaturity<\/li>\n
- For attention<\/li>\n
- To\u00a0 see how far they can push (limits)<\/li>\n
- Responding to stress<\/li>\n
- Anger\/tired<\/li>\n
- Fear<\/li>\n
- Poor self-esteem<\/li>\n
- Developmentally typical<\/li>\n
- Jealousy<\/li>\n
- To avoid consequences<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
If at all possible, it is best to ignore the behaviour that you don\u2019t like; by doing so, you don\u2019t reinforce it.\u00a0 A child often doesn\u2019t care if the attention they receive is positive or negative.\u00a0 Some other behavioural strategies to try are:<\/p>\n
\n- Praise<\/strong>: Make sure those good behaviours are rewarded and praised.\u00a0 It is very easy for us to get caught up in the negative and forget about the good things that our children do everyday.\u00a0 Compliment your children everyday.<\/li>\n
- Be clear about expectations<\/strong>: Tell your child exactly what you expect them to do.\u00a0 Be clear about what the consequence will be if they do the expected behaviour and what will happen if they do not.\u00a0 Always follow through with the consequence- good or bad.\u00a0 Consistency is vital to shaping behaviour.<\/li>\n
- Have one-on-one time with your child<\/strong>:\u00a0 If you have a positive relationship with your child then that will help with feelings of happiness and with the development of good self-esteem.<\/li>\n
- Don\u2019t over program<\/strong>:\u00a0 Children need downtime in order to relax and unwind.\u00a0 This will allow them the opportunity to decompress which will in turn help them to cope with everyday situations and those that are more stressful.<\/li>\n
- Communication<\/strong>:\u00a0 Listening and validating feelings are important to dealing with misbehaviour.\u00a0 Children want to be heard.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy for parents to not take children\u2019s issues seriously, but these issues are a big deal to them.\u00a0 If a child feels heard they will be more open to changing their behaviour.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Susan Lieberman is in private practice in Toronto as a family therapist and public speaker. For more information call (416) 512-6356.<\/p>\n<\/div>